Teach, and Learn
The Greatest Teachers
Children are the greatest teachers on the planet.
As parents, we believe that we are teaching them,
and of course, at times, we do. And when we teach, we learn.
Children have an incredible way of looking at life. They make us laugh, cry, and push us to the edge of reason. Children teach us that we do not know everything-especially how to raise them.
And if we are emotionally aware, we discover that like other “difficult” people, unruly children provide lessons we need to grow and heal…
Raising your children is perhaps the most difficult and challenging job you will ever face.
Complex as the job may be, we do it because we are human and we have a heart that is full of love and the rewards of parenting are many. All the wonderful moments that we share with our family creates a lifetime of memories we store in our hearts that warm us all the days of our lives. We may forget most of the conversations but the love never dies, never fades.
We are Students
I hope that as parents you see your children as priceless gems. They are inheritors of our beautiful world. Teach them with love, praise and patience for their greatest teacher is you, and their future depends on how you treat them.
We are students in life and we are also teachers. My children were some of my greatest teachers. It really is true that those who push our buttons are our greatest teachers!
When my youngest son told me, “Mom, you were mean when you were younger,” I was shocked and saddened hearing those words. The last thing I wanted to do was to be mean to my child. I didn’t know I could have told him, “Hey, I really love you, I do, and I was only doing what I knew"…
Parents generally raise their children using similar rules and punishments they experienced in their own childhood. Teaching by default sets us up for failure. Considering the fact that most families are dysfunctional, especially in America, it’s safe to say we need to revisit our parenting skills & methods. If your family unit runs smoothly with little to no conflict, you’re probably doing just fine.
Quite often we use methods that are not productive and do not yield positive results. We have no idea we’re acting upon our own ingrained memories; parenting methods we absorbed and have passed on to our own children.
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Understanding human psychology can be of great help when you’ve a parenting conundrum. And because each child is unique, you’ll need to use different methods for each. The rules and structure are the same, yet the specific dynamics will vary according to each one’s personality.
Case in point:
I have two grown sons. Their personalities are as different as night and day.
One organized, the other a more casual, let it lie kind of guy.
Okay, he was messy. The oldest child went with the flow. Generally paddling downstream, he didn’t make too many waves. While the other, created resistance at each turn. Not only paddling upstream but creating an emotional wake that had his parents wanting to run for the hills on occasion. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad. He was a great kid, and he was smart.
Smart kids need a lot more mental stimulation.
Which brings me to one of the most important aspects of parenting.
The rebellious child that refuses to conform (unless it’s their idea!), is a challenge but also a seed of opportunity.
Spend quality time with your kids. This will make or break your relationship. And you have to start when they’re young. If you wait until they’re 9 or 10, it’s too late. They’re reaching the age of no return, adolescence.
During a recent juicing marathon session (30-day reset/reboot), I revisited one of my favorite movies, “Nanny Diaries.” My interest in the movie lies with its ending. The mother finally gets it. She wakes up to the fact that she has been negligent. Even though she has been physically present, she hasn’t been emotionally available. Children know when you are authentic, and they can spot a fake a mile away.
If you as a parent are not happy; if you’re not in a functional relationship with yourself and others, you cannot expect to have a healthy relationship with your child. Your child’s behavior virtually all of the time is a direct result of your behavior in their lives as a parent.
Some children are especially challenging. Reflecting on my experience as a parent I know that my children were amazing, and sometimes tough teachers. I learned patience, persistence, forgiveness, and most of all, that I had a lot of work yet to do on myself.
The children that do not question your authority or voice a need to share in your leadership are easier to raise. The children, like my Sammy, will have your head spinning, as you struggle to discover the magic formula that will shed light on the mystery of their precious souls.
The rebellious child that refuses to conform (unless it’s their idea!), is a challenge but also a seed of opportunity. They are Fringe Dwellers; they dance to the beat of their own drum. Not because it irritates you, but because their uniqueness cannot be suppressed and is constantly seeking to express itself.
Consider your children a miracle. And although parenting is challenging at times, you’ve been given a gift. A gift and a blessing of which there is no greater.
“You must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world to truly understand your own.”
“The Nanny Diaries.”
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