“If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.”
Children Learn What They Liveby Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
Children are often criticized by well-meaning adults. Adults who project their own expression of self-condemnation. Unfortunately, young children are naïve and extremely sensitive to the emotional environment around them. Like a sponge, they absorb and internalize everything they experience with their senses. (Especially before the age of 7.)
Over time, destructive criticism is implanted deep within the subconscious where it takes root and becomes aspects of the child’s personality. Personality traits tainted by low self-esteem and condemnation for themselves and others. Which results in self-loathing and despair.
A child who is burdened by self-criticism is impatient, self-destructive, distrustful of themselves and others and most assuredly, grows to become a very unhappy adult.
Much to my detriment, I experienced very little constructive criticism and an unhealthy dose of negative criticism while growing up. My interest in psychology and happiness in general, motivated my pursuit to find my Self.
It took decades of consistent mental work to overcome my beliefs of powerlessness and unworthiness. With the help of NLP, FEFT, self-development books, various healing therapies, and an intense desire to heal my childhood traumas, I am becoming the person I was born to be...
“There’s nothing that weighs heavier on your heart,
than the burden of potential.”
Use Criticism to Your Advantage
Criticism does not have to be negative. As a matter of fact, it is not what happens to us that determines a negative outcome in any situation. It is how we react to it.
When I became aware that I was reacting negatively to others’ moods and opinions, I realized I could observe without judgement. After all, it was only my sense of unworthiness and misconception that made me feel criticized. What others said or believed had nothing to do with me.
When I made the shift from defensiveness (expecting to be judged, blamed, etc.) to curiosity and acceptance of myself and others, my personal relationships changed for the better.
I became less judgmental and critical and of course, they did too. I began to see any sign of criticism as an opportunity to improve upon my work - whether it was at the office, in my family life, or in my own personal work. I took it as a cue to observe what I was feeling, then I would apply positive affirmations and solutions to the imagined “criticism/conflict.”
Problems begin in the mind and with time and effort, dissolve. Rewriting your past creates your future.
"Master your mind, and you will master your life."
You are a spiritual being having a human experience. Created to express your unique gifts and talents. You don’t have to let your mind tell you that you are anything but a talented, successful and amazing person.